Shree Krishna's Key to Stay Spiritual While Managing Life's Problems by Swami Mukundanand
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE
*Main Points*: 1 0:01 – 0:37 Spirituality does not mean becoming impractical or obtuse; many struggle with relationships and end up in bad moods. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=1 2 1:11 – 2:22 God sends us not only for inner growth but also to do meaningful work; saints act as clouds bringing God’s grace to us. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=71 3 2:57 – 4:43 A story of monks shows that even realized souls don’t reject the world — they use wisdom to handle it smartly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=177 4 5:08 – 6:19 Like the lady with a Rolls Royce who cleverly used a loan for parking, we too must learn tact in handling worldly matters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=308 5 6:41 – 8:20 Most difficulties arise from relationships; the root issue is our expectations of perfection and matching desires. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=401 6 8:23 – 9:26 A story of bear, wolf, and fox teaches that we cannot change others but must wisely handle them as they are. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=503 7 9:39 – 11:14 Expectations of reciprocation often lead to frustration; the root is selfishness — thinking only of “I, me, myself.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=579 8 11:40 – 13:16 A wise person accepts that everyone is selfish to some degree and learns to handle relationships intelligently. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=700 9 13:50 – 15:36 A story of a bird and a tree shows why we must avoid judgments; we rarely know the whole picture. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=810 10 16:11 – 19:32 Final lesson: have zero expectations to avoid frustrations; relationships are like bank accounts — keep making deposits (love, kindness, praise) so that they thrive. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNkHWeXaTAE&t=971 *Full Text* 0:01 Spirituality doesn't mean that you 0:04 become totally obtuse and keep getting 0:08 into problems with others and expecting 0:11 Swami ji to solve your problems. 0:14 In my experience as a spiritual leader, 0:19 I see this is the one thing that quite a 0:23 substantial segment of people struggle 0:26 with. 0:28 They just have no idea how to cultivate 0:31 relationships and keep on getting into 0:35 bad moods. 0:37 Well, the principle is so simple. 1:11 God has sent us into this world 1:15 not just to become a recluse (sanyasi) 1:18 but also alongside with our internal 1:22 growth to do meaningful things. 1:26 So it says out here that 1:30 Dheeras (saints who have patience, धीर) 1:34 are the realized saints 1:37 who are equipoised. 1:39 So they are “dheer” 1:41 the Ramayan says “रामसिन्धु घन सज्जन धीरा । चन्दन तरु हरि सन्त समीरा” 1:51 Ram is like the ocean. 1:55 And the dheer, the saint is like the cloud. 2:00 The ocean doesn't quench your thirst. It 2:04 is the cloud that does. The cloud takes 2:07 water from the ocean and gives it to 2:10 you. 2:11 Likewise, God is there. But it is the 2:15 saints who explain his personality to 2:18 us, who reveal his glories to us and 2:22 help us grow in our devotion to him. 2:27 So the second part of the chaupai says 2:29 that Ram is like the sandalwood tree 2:33 but it is the air that brings its 2:35 fragrance to you. 2:42 Those “dheers”, the 2:45 realized saints, have said 2:49 don't get attached to the world but 2:52 learn to use it. 2:57 Three monks were sitting, two were 3:01 elevated monks 3:03 and the third was a novice apprentice. 3:08 He asked the seniors that when you are 3:11 an enlightened 3:13 do you get siddhis, 3:16 mystic abilities? 3:19 So they said yes. 3:22 Now one of the senior monks got up and 3:25 he said, "I have left something on the 3:28 other side of the stream 3:31 and he walked across over the water and 3:35 then walked back." 3:37 The apprentice said, "Oh my god, how did 3:41 he display this mystical act?" 3:44 Then the second master he said, "Oh, I 3:50 also need to get something from the 3:52 other side." 3:54 So he got up, he walked on the water, 3:57 reached the other side and then came 4:01 back. 4:03 Now the apprentice said, "My god, these 4:07 two have done it. Let me also give it a 4:10 try." 4:12 So no matter how much focus he would 4:15 bring his mind to bear, 4:18 every time he would put his foot on the 4:21 water, he would just go down. 4:24 Seeing him getting dumped up and down, 4:28 One of the senior monks said to the 4:31 other, "Should we tell him where the 4:35 coral reef is?" 4:39 There was a coral reef there. 4:43 So just because somebody is enlightened, 4:47 equipoised, elevated doesn't mean that 4:51 they reject the world as “mithya” (false) 4:55 You have to learn the ways of using the 4:58 world. 5:00 Now that requires a little bit of tact, 5:03 a little bit of smartness. 5:09 One lady arrived at the Bank of America 5:14 branch in Manhattan, New York. 5:18 She said, "Can I get a $5,000 loan for 5:22 15 days?" 5:23 They said, "Madam, do you have an 5:25 account here?" She said, "No." "So, what 5:28 will you keep as mortgage?" She said, 5:30 "My Rolls-Royce is standing in the 5:32 parking lot. Here are the keys. Will 5:34 that suffice?" 5:36 They said Rolls Roy for a $5,000 loan. 5:42 All right, ma'am. Let's sign the papers. 5:46 After 15 days, she returned, said, 5:49 "$5,000. How much is the interest?" 5:52 Madam, $27.13. 5:56 She gave it said, "Madam, if you have a 6:00 Rolls-Royce, 6:01 why did you need a loan for $5,000? 6:07 She said, "In Manhattan, 6:10 where else will you get 15 days parking 6:13 for $27.13?" 6:19 So likewise, if you wish to do 6:24 meaningful things in this world, 6:28 if you wish to become a recluse, that's 6:30 a different thing. If you wish to do 6:33 something meaningful in the service of 6:35 God, you have to learn how to handle the 6:38 world. 6:41 And the most messy thing is 6:43 relationships. 6:46 That is where everybody gets into 6:48 trouble. 6:50 Somebody's having trouble with 6:52 relationships in the office. 6:55 Somebody's having trouble with 6:57 relationships in their friend circle. 7:01 Somebody has joined a seva group and 7:05 they're also they are saying you know 7:06 I'm having trouble. 7:09 Now the thing is that person keeps 7:12 complaining about office politics 7:16 who doesn't know to handle it himself. 7:20 So what we need is to use our head to 7:24 handle office politics. 7:27 So you need to learn why do 7:30 relationships get strained. 7:33 One of the reasons is we expect others 7:37 to be perfect. 7:40 And when we find somebody is not 7:42 perfect, we get extremely annoyed. 7:46 That person should have been behaving 7:48 like this. 7:50 That person should not have been 7:52 behaving like this. 7:55 Now they are what they are. We are 7:58 creating standards for their behavior 8:02 and holding them for that behavior when 8:06 they are not meeting our standards. 8:10 We are saying how terrible they are. An 8:14 intelligent person says people are as 8:16 they are. Let me learn to live and let 8:20 live. 8:23 A bear, 8:25 wolf, and a fox once went hunting. 8:30 Now listen to this carefully. 8:33 They managed to grab a deer and killed 8:38 the deer. 8:40 The bear asked his companions, the wolf 8:43 and the fox, 8:45 "How do you suggest we divide the deer?" 8:50 The wolf said, "Let's do one third 8:57 and the bear killed the wolf. 9:01 Now there was just the bear and the fox 9:03 left. So the bear asked the fox, 9:07 "You give me the suggestion. How should 9:10 we divide the deer?" 9:13 The fox said, "The bear should get 9:15 100%." 9:18 The bear said, "You are so intelligent. 9:20 Where did you learn this?" 9:23 He said, "I learned it from the wolf." 9:26 What it means is that you cannot change 9:31 people. 9:32 He knows how the bear is and he has 9:35 learned how to handle the bear. 9:39 So we people with less EQ (emotional quotient), less SQ (spiritual quotient), they 9:45 do imperative thinking (means a command-oriented mindset characterized by rigid rules and demands about how things "must" or "should" be, often using terms like "have to," "must," and "supposed to". This approach can negatively impact relationships by creating inflexibility and imposing a sense of obligation on others, while also causing internal conflict when one's own standards are not met ). This person 9:48 should be like this, that person should 9:50 be like that. 9:52 The next 9:54 we expect that the others should desire 9:58 as we desire. 10:01 If I desire to see this channel on TV, 10:06 then my spouse should also desire to see 10:08 the same channel on TV. And when the 10:12 desires don't meet, we think we are 10:14 justified in being angry. Why does she 10:16 not think like this? Why does he think 10:18 like that? 10:20 So these expectations, 10:23 expectation for perfection, 10:26 expectation of matching of desires, 10:30 we expect others should do as we think 10:34 they should do. 10:36 Now everybody has got a mind of their 10:39 own and goals of their own. 10:43 So it is not necessary they will do 10:46 exactly what you want them to do. 10:49 Just give them the freedom. You cannot 10:52 control anyone. Let them be. 10:56 Beyond that is the expectation of 11:00 reciprocation. 11:04 I did this for that person 11:08 and that person did not reciprocate. 11:14 Swami ji I did so much for my relatives. 11:17 I got them all the way from India to 11:21 USA. You know, I sponsored their visa 11:25 and their green card. But my relatives, 11:28 they were so bewafa 11:31 They never asked me in my time of need 11:35 this expectation of reciprocation. 11:40 So what is at the root of all 11:43 expectations? 11:46 The root of it all is our selfish 11:49 nature. 11:51 In all our relationships, 11:54 we are always thinking about I, me, and 11:57 myself. 12:00 And when my self-interest is not 12:02 fulfilled, the other guy is a bad guy. I 12:06 have a right to be in a bad mood. 12:10 But 12:12 a person who has wisdom 12:16 decides 12:17 look everybody is imperfect 12:22 in this world of maya 12:24 everybody is selfish 12:27 somebody more somebody less 12:31 I need to work my way around 12:33 intelligently 12:36 I need to handle these relationships 12:41 to be effective in this world. So 12:44 spirituality doesn't mean that you 12:47 become totally obtuse (means Dull, insensitive, lacking sharpness of understanding, impractical, or foolish in dealing with situations) and keep getting 12:51 into problems with others and expecting 12:54 Swami ji to solve your problems. 12:58 Some sevaks are like that. 13:01 They get into problems because of lack 13:04 of EQ & SQ 13:07 and then they will blame everybody. 13:11 Everybody is responsible for my 13:13 unhappiness. 13:16 So remember take responsibility for your 13:20 happiness. 13:22 Never expect others to watch out for 13:26 your happiness. 13:30 Further never be judgmental. 13:35 Don't judge others. It is their journey. 13:39 It is their own sanskars of so many 13:42 lives. 13:45 The Bible says, "Judge not, lest you be 13:48 judged." 13:51 A bird, it needed to choose a branch of 13:54 a tree to make a nest. 13:58 So it came to this huge tree 14:01 and as it was about to start placing the 14:04 twigs the tree spoke up and said I'm not 14:08 going to allow you to make a nest. The 14:11 bird said you are such a big tree you 14:13 miser you kanjoos. The tree said 14:16 whatever be the case if you make it I'll 14:18 kick it out. 14:20 So the bird went to the neighboring tree 14:24 and placed its nest there and even laid 14:28 the eggs. Now while the eggs were being 14:31 incubated, one night a huge storm came 14:37 and the big tree collapsed. 14:42 In the morning the bird got up, saw the 14:45 tree there. It said, "This is God's 14:49 justice. 14:51 You denied me the right to make a nest 14:54 on you. 14:56 Serves you right." 14:58 The big fallen tree said, "I knew I was 15:03 going to fall. 15:05 I had grown so old I had rotted from the 15:09 roots. I knew I would not withstand the 15:13 storm. And for your sake I said don't 15:16 make a nest here make it there. 15:20 Now if I told you at that time you would 15:22 not have believed. So I didn't give the 15:24 reasons. The bird realized it did not 15:28 know the whole picture. It was just 15:32 jumping to judgments. 15:36 So often we jump to such judgments. 15:40 Oh, this person is like that. And if we 15:44 came to know their story, the real 15:46 story, we'd say, "Wow, 15:49 in this situation, this person is doing 15:52 so good." 15:55 So don't judge. Don't expect others to 15:59 be responsible for your happiness. 16:03 Learn to cultivate 16:06 relationships. 16:11 In my experience as a spiritual leader, 16:16 I see this is the one thing that quite a 16:20 substantial segment of people struggle 16:23 with. 16:25 They just have no idea how to cultivate 16:28 relationships 16:30 and keep on getting into bad moods. 16:34 Well, the principle is so simple. 16:38 First of all, understand nobody is mine. 16:43 Have zero expectations. 16:46 There will be no frustrations. 16:50 When you have expectations, 16:54 that is when the frustration begins. 16:57 It's a premeditated 16:59 resentment. The expectation. 17:02 The saints have no expectations. 17:07 They say “Maya adheen jeev hai (soul is under maya)” 17:09 the soul can go haywire any time. So 17:13 they have no frustrations. 17:16 So with this sense of detachment, 17:20 the relationships that are important for 17:23 your work, learn to cultivate them. See 17:29 that relationship as a bank account. 17:33 In a bank account, you make deposits and 17:37 you have withdrawals. 17:40 Now, if you are not depositing 17:44 and you just keep on withdrawing, you'll 17:46 go into overdraw mode. 17:49 Likewise, in a relationship, 17:52 deposits are the favors you do for the 17:55 other. 17:57 It could be a small thing. You're just 17:59 crossing and you give a smile. 18:02 Or just willing to forego your wish for 18:05 the other's wish. 18:08 These are the deposits. 18:11 A few words of praise and 18:13 encouragement, 18:14 a little help in their work. 18:18 But then there have to be withdrawals as 18:21 well. Sometimes 18:23 like a teacher, a parent has to force 18:26 the child to do something against the 18:29 child's wish. 18:31 Now if there are not enough deposits the 18:34 child will rebel 18:39 you have to keep on depositing. 18:43 Particularly in husband wife 18:45 relationships it's been discovered 18:48 that any relationship 18:51 where the deposits to withdrawal rate is 18:56 less than 2.8 , then that relationship 19:01 gets drained. 19:04 And for a relationship to be successful, 19:07 the deposits must outweigh the 19:09 withdrawals five is to one 19:13 because humans are humans. You have to 19:15 keep on praising them. You have to keep 19:17 on encouraging them. Who will not 19:20 respond to deposits? 19:23 The problem is people forget to make 19:25 them and then when the everything goes 19:28 into the overdraw mode then they start 19:30 blaming. 19:32 So the last mantra and this mantra is 19:35 very important. 19:38 If you wish to be an effective person in 19:42 the world, 19:44 learn to use the world properly 19:49 and at the same time keep your love for 19:54 God. Standby link (in case youtube link does not work) Shree Krishna's Key to Stay Spiritual While Managing Life's Problems Swami Mukundananda.mp4